I've been ignoring my muse all summer.

Shame on me.

Well hello everyone, I hope you've been doing well, and you haven't totally forgotten about me.

Over this summer, I didn't write. My ZAT training for the summer? Didn't do that, either. (And guess who's bridesmaid dress now doesn't fit? I have 2 months to lose ~10+ lbs, this is going to be fun.)

I start my MFA in Creative Writing in two weeks. I didn't read any of the recommended background material. I've done my training for my GTA positions, and I did my paperwork to be hired. (Apparently I get keys to the mailroom and an office.)

But what else is there? I worked. It helped me pay my bills, at the expense of doing everything else I wanted to do. I haven't been to an aikido class in months.

For two consecutive weekends, I went to weddings. On the third weekend, a funeral. Emotionally exhausting.

Friendships have been rekindled; others, not so much.

I realize I'm being vague, and I apologize for that. Hopefully once I get into the swing of school, I'll have more updates about more interesting things. But until then, you'll have to bear with this inadequate meandering post.

Thanks for your patience. Give me a week or two.

Being productive! Sorta.

So work and needing sleep have been keeping me from keeping you up to date on the awesome things going on in my life.

A week or so ago I filled out my paperwork for my GTA position and got to meet my director for graduate school. We talked about my direction and what I was looking forward to (everything!), and I am incredibly excited. I'll get my own desk and keys to important rooms, and I actually get to TEACH. I won't have a classroom all to myself, but I will be a part of the classroom environment, and I will get to impart knowledge, which I am super excited about. I just need to complete my online training.

I got to walk around campus and got my ID card, and it was all rather bizarre. I feel kind of like a traitor, or a spy, or something. Not familiar. With campus or with my new position there. But on the bright side, the building that will serve as my new home on campus is right next to the bookstore. :) Even if it is kind of old and falling apart. (I can live with that.)

After I got back from my trip, one of Boyfriend's good friends came to the area to celebrate his birthday. We had lunch with him Downtown one day, and then the next we went to the Dali museum, which is absolutely phenomenal. Seeing the Masterworks in person (I'd only studied them in books... seeing them in person in all of their glory is just humbling) and having my nose half an inch from the glass on some of his most famous paintings (The Degradation of the Persistence of Memory, sister to the famous melting clocks painting, for instance) is incredible. Whatever glass they use is the coolest thing ever. I had no idea there was glass between the painting and I, even when I looked for it. It is only at the most extreme angles can you see the light reflecting off of the paintings. It feels like the painting is right there. It's an intimate connection. I'm just astounded at the level of detail involved in the oils; in everything, really. So much for such small paintings. Lots of themes as his work evolved over time. I'm going to have to go back to the museum and spend more time there; I don't feel like I gave each of the paintings enough time and energy. He really was brilliant. Absurd, yes, but definitely brilliant and talented in a way you can't imagine until you see everything in person. I've been putting off going to the museum for years, and now I'm so sad I did. I missed out.

I've been working on planning a dive trip for next week, and I've been reading. I just finished Terry Goodkind's Law of Nines last night, which has been on my to-read list for years. Goodkind used to be one of my favorite authors in high school, but I wasn't terribly impressed with this last work. I found it largely predictable and anticlimactic, which is kind of depressing. I don't know if it's because my taste in literature has evolved, or if he's not as strong of a writer in thrillers as he was in fantasy.

And writing. I should be doing that, and I keep thinking, and i keep starting, but I guess since I don't really don't have a dedicated time of the day to just sit and write, nothing is getting done. :/ Similar to my resolve to continue ZAT. My inconsistent work schedule isn't helping, but at this point that's just an excuse. And speaking of ZAT, Boyfriend and I are about to go climb stairs on a parking garage, because I absolutely abhor stairs.

That logic makes sense. I promise.

Work has kind of been taking over my life. Which sucks.

On the bright side. I've been reading a lot. Devoured the rest of the Hunger Games trilogy in 2 days. It would have been less if I didn't need to go to work.

I haven't been writing, but I've been think-writing, if that makes sense. I can't write at work because in my contract it states that anything I work on during company time, the company owns, and I'm not going to risk that. But on my way to-and-from work, and even while I'm reading, maybe when I'm making dinner, I think of little things.

I should probably be writing them down.

Work work work

So most of my time lately has been spent working. The rest? Sleeping. Eating happens too. And in the in-between, I think about what I should be doing. Reading, writing, aikido.

I read David Small's Stitches in one sitting (on the floor of a bookstore) a few weeks ago, and it was phenomenal. I still can't seem to finish Nano; I may have to give up on it, which is sad, but I can't do it. I downloaded 58 books for my Kindle; I started reading some Lovecraft, but I wasn't in the mood; moved to Verne, wasn't much better. :/ In the mood for more contemporary work, so I may go ahead and order the recommended background reading books for my contemporary nonfiction class, and get started with that.

I'd hate to say I'm "stuck" with writing, because there is no such thing as "being stuck".... but I don't know. I haven't really been in the mood to do anything, which is really uncharacteristic of me. I'm always GO-GO-GO-GO-GO-GO-GO. And now I'm slipping on even my greatest passions. :/ I'm not depressed. Perhaps just lazy. I can't determine if it is justified or not.... but I need to just DO stuff.

Whenever I have to be at work, it kind of kills my motivation for the day. I think I should wake up early and go to the gym, or go when I get out of work, but neither of those things happen. I know I really just need to kick myself in the butt. (And it has occurred to me that this is not the first time I've complained about this... which is not helping my pathetic case.)

The summer is slowly slipping away... I need to make the most of it. :)

What I haven't been doing.

Apparently, the only discernible skill my new Bachelor's Degree has given me is the ability to wake up early. Every day. Without an alarm. Without fail.

This is useful for work. Normally I have to be in around 9am. I set my alarm for 7:45. But right at 7am, BING! I'm awake. And for half a minute I think about how I should roll out of bed and walk to the little gym in the clubhouse and do something productive for half an hour before work. So I can be energized and maybe work off the extra fluff I've accumulated over the past few weeks. But I never seem to get past the thinking part; I just fall back asleep, and then get ready for work.

Work happens to be a four minute drive away. Less if I don't hit the single stoplight between my apartment and the staff parking lot. I'd rollerblade to work, but there's no where to put my blades while I'm working. The lockers are too small. :( So I'm back home for the weekend, and I'm going to try to steal my bike back. That way I can save on gas money, too. :)

As for why I'm not working this weekend? I asked for it off to go to an Aikido Seminar that my sensei is teaching. But I haven't been to an aikido class in... months? Months. That's just embarrassing. I want to go, but at the same time, I'm slightly apprehensive. It's not just this pathetic laziness that's taking over my life, it's just that it's an ukemi seminar. And my ukemi sucks. That's probably enough reason for me to go, but I'm also absolutely broke. Dead broke. Yes I have a job, but I haven't even gotten my first paycheck yet, and I still have to pay for rent and groceries. :/ So it looks like my choices are: food? or seminar? -sigh-

I need to start going back to aikido. I deliberately made my work schedule so that I could still make it to class Monday and Wednesday nights. I intended on going to class this past week. But after work I just crashed. Took a great big nap, had dinner, and went to sleep for the night. Wake up in the morning, go to work. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I need to stop making excuses. Aikido and working out aren't the only things I haven't been doing. I need to be WRITING.

Now, a big part of writing, is reading. And gold star for me, I've actually been doing that. I recently finished Chuck Palahniuk's Invisible Monsters, and I'm currently working on Ed Regis' Nano. Once I finish catching up on books in my personal library, I'm going to start working on the recommended background reading for one of my grad school classes. My conservative goal is two books a week, so I need to step up my game a little. I'm going to make a rule for myself, that if I want to read, I need to be doing something else at the same time. Like spending some time on an elliptical trainer. Multitasking.

But reading isn't everything. I'm going to start working on an MFA in Creative Writing, for heaven's sake, and I need to actually WRITE in order to get my degree!

I have a lot of half-started projects, ideas in their infancy, and almost-done essays that just need a bit of tweaking. But I need to be writing. All the time. Working on something. I need something to show for this summer. So I need to find time to write. Every day, at the same time. I'm not quite sure how this is going to work yet, but maybe I'll link it to starting a Dream Journal again. After all, all my best ideas come from my dreams.

So now I need to go out and DO something! And I hope you all DO something, too! And enjoy your weekend. :)

--EDIT!--

OH OH OH. Before I forget!! I got my grades for my final semester: STRAIGHT A's. (YAY!)

All Grown Up. Almost.

So last Thursday I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree in English, Concentration being Creative Writing (Fiction), and my minor as Physics!

Graduation day was interesting. The first time both my mom and my dad have been within 8 feet of each other. They were civil, and I am grateful.


Boyfriend and I just following the ceremony!
I don't feel any different. It's nice that that chapter of my life is now complete, and I can move on. But I'm still going to miss the school, and my friends here.

But I'm ready to move on. Unfortunately, I'm still stressed out. I forgot to turn in my immunization form to my new graduate school, so now there is a hold on my account and I can't sign up for my classes. I'm having to cut my long mother's day weekend at home short in order to get that taken care of ASAP.

On Tuesday I have orientation for my new job. Thursday is my first day of training. I still need to get solid white sneakers for work. It's going to be interesting, to say the least. I hope they give me enough hours to cover my rent.

So far I have read one book for fun. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I got it as a Christmas gift two years ago, and I finally had time to read it. Read it in a day. It was awesome. :] Now I just need to slowly devour the unread books on my shelf before I can start reading new books on my Kindle.

I also need to start with my Zombie Apocalypse Training again, and going to Aikido. In these last two semesters I've put on more pounds than I'm happy admitting, and I need to fix that. :/

On the bright side, the Florida weather is being awesome. Yes, hot as usual, but I'm enjoying the sunshine. :) Hopefully this summer ends up being awesome, and leads to better things to come!

Last week of class.

I have so much to do.

Working on a term paper. Draft due for peer review tomorrow. Final product due Thursday.

Was given an option for final exam in my weekly modernism class. Take-home looked easily doable, just didn't have the time for it. Was working on a project (see below). :( In-class option tomorrow night. Haven't really prepared for it yet.

Another term paper due before the end of next week. Haven't started.

Two more take-home exams due next week. Haven't gotten them yet.

Project that was supposed to be due Wednesday, is actually due next Friday. I did it early. Somehow trying to be ahead of things still screwed me over.

Bright side? I have a summer job! Yay. I'll be working Guest Relations at a certain park nearby, aaaaand that's about all I can say about it. :/ Training starts after Graduation.

Provided I successfully Graduate.

Need to survive one more week.

One more.


PS--I went SCUBA diving in the Keys last weekend and it was awesome. Except for the getting seasick part. But that's besides the point.